I saw a post in another group. It was about a girl who wants to pursue her career in dance whereas her parents compel her to get married. The girl is of the opinion if she got married she may not be able to continue her passion. There were comments for this post asking her to go against their parent's wishes, break free, you have to take care of yourself and some comments asking her to marry, to heed to her parents, career is not much important and so on. Some of the people advised her to check up with the boy whether he is acceptable for her continuing with her passion, to adjust her family life and continue with her passion. One of the advise which caught my attention is to understand each other and live the life happily. It occurred to me here comes the crux. How one can understand the other completely. Because the parents who raise their children from the day they were born feels that they are not able to understand their wards and say there is generation gap between themselves and their wards. It has to be noted that the children are brought up the way the parents want in their initial stages. If such being the case, how a girl/boy is going to understand each other in a short span of time. So i feel having a long chat with each other, know the strength and weakness of the partner and build the relationship upon it. The strength can be built up and they can improve on the weakness of each other with the help of the partner. The ego, chauvanisam, one upman (woman)ship should not be there in the picture at all. That is how i ran my family and taught my children also. Now that i am retired from the service, have retired myself from running the family also. This is what you can call a real retired life. I know how to earn and can go on working for three or four days continuously without sleep. ( now it takes its toll) while my wife is an expert in administering the family. So we recognised each other's strength and left things to be taken care of based on our strength. This not only prevents the family plunging into chaos but also helps loving each other. Yes I proudly acknowledge that my wife is the reason for the well being of my family. For today's boys and girls who are looking for a partner, this is my request. dont put conditions on each other. You are not entering into business partnership which is based on a document. Life is not based on a document it is purely based on your heart mostly and your brain occasionally. I am making this comment because one of my friend is looking for a bride for his son and told me this experience. In the ad given in the matrimonial site the girl has indicated that the boy must be ready to go separately (Thani kudithanam) leaving his parents and the girl will ensure that they will be taken care of well. My friend and his son accepted this condition (they felt a single bed room flat can be bought nearby their flat and the oldies can go there). So he phoned up. The girl's father picked up the phone. He told my friend " I must be taken care of by your son the way my daughter is taking care of us now". When informed about the condition his daughter indicated in her profile the phone was disconnected.