Again in response to the post of Rukmini Swathi Rishabhapriya about some rich people not wearing poonool and and following anushtanams etc and her patti asking her to have her hair tightened and wear saree for koil and functions. Nowadays, i find answering by means of a post instead of commenting on it is easier because a post can run into any number of pages and i can add one more in my number of posts. Jokes apart let me deal with the rich first. Yes they are rich and dont follow anushtanams. I will tell you a story of a family which is rich and did not follow anushtanams. I am not cursing anybody or telling anyone this is going to happen to you if you dont follow anushtnams. The family was what you can call a filthy rich. have flashy cars with servants even to lay their bed. They had two children and both of them were special children. Nowadays special schools are available for them and there are doctors offering counselling both to the parents and to the children. Think of those days when these facilities are not available. We can talk how they should handle the kids and how much they must love them. But in practical life the agony of the parents cannot be explained. I am not telling the children were like this because of their not following anushtanams but this is what i have seen. you can draw your own conclusions. One thing is for sure. Bank Balances, Flashy Cars and Palatial Bungalows does not constitute richness and surely it wont bring happiness. It may get you pleasures but not pleasantness.
Regarding the tying of hair: I think there are scientific reasons. Have ever been a piece of hair went into your mouth along with your breakfast, lunch or dinner. That too the long hair of girls. I had experienced it and it took me half kg of butter, an injection and three days to cure the after effects of pulling out the hair from the throat. That is why people use to do their hair (pinnuthal) in the backyard of the house so that the hair does not fall within the house and travels to kitchen. Try to pick up a hair piece from the floor and you will know why your paatti says so. It will be very difficult in the day time itself. Regarding saree it enhances the beauty along with kunkumam. In those days most of the marriage alliances were started on seeing the girl first in the temples and marriages. We people are old fashioned and that is why we are simply repeating what we did as we are living a lovely life till date. We are telling those things to you in the hope you will also get such a wonderful life if you fallow what we fallowed.‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Even before the eyes become dry about Swathi's death another girl lost her life. I consider both as murders one direct and another indirect. Two kids i respect most, Ms. Aparna Kumar and Ms. Manasa Chakrapani Iyengar have posted about the death of the girls. While one asked why a male should always safeguard a girl the other asked why the society blames a girl for her nude pictures. Both are very pertinent questions. These posts kindled my thinking and here i have started my rambling. First to Aparna Kumar. Knowingly or unknowingly we are in a patriarchal society. Though there is a system of matriarchal society in Kerala even there the safety of the girls rested with male only. You may want to change the system but it cannot be done overnight. Man is considered to have more physical strength than woman and this resulted in the system of male protecting the female. Though the girls nowadays are overcoming their physical difficulties to learn some defensive acts like Karate still long way to go. How many girls of today are ready to go in for karate classes. With continuing murders and rapes being reported all around the country nowadays i dont think any parent will disagree with their daughter if she wants to go in for such classes. First let us spread awareness among girls to be on their guard. I also read a comment why the girls should safeguard themselves and why not the boys not been controlled? a good question to ask. but practically will it work. We cannot segregate people that this man is a murderer, a rapist and this man is a gentleman by the looks. There are well looking criminals and ugliest gentlemen in our country. As long as the girls are being looked as an object of pleasure you cannot stop this. Enact as many laws as possible, you cannot prevent this. In our days there was a moral education class every week and we were taught how to be a gentle man. Dont know why those classes were stopped. Those days porn was available in the form of books only and most of us cannot afford to buy it because of its cost. ( we never heard of pocket money those days) And just singing love songs will attract the stick from the teacher/ parents. Though we detested those things then, now i understand the values behind it. I have not raped nor never will rape. I have been taught by my teachers/ parents how to respect a woman. Now with porn available through mobiles. No amount of government ban is going to stop those sites. Like torrent sites which comes with a different name each and every time it was banned the porn sites are going to do the same. Not only in India but also throughout the world looking at a woman as a pleasure object exists. The number of porn sites stands witness to it. So instead of expecting the government to stop such people, let us better equip ourselves and use all the available resources including trusted men to protect our girls. For Manasa Chakrapani Iyengar my answer is this. The society is yet to improve to that level. In this incident what pains me most is the news (I pray let it be false) that her own parents have not believed that it was not her picture. When people are going to believe their own wards who they bring up as per their wishes. If they are not able to trust their own child then it is their fault of not educating the child properly. So kids direct your anger to your brains and not to your hearts.‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

I saw a post in another group. It was about a girl who wants to pursue her career in dance whereas her parents compel her to get married. The girl is of the opinion if she got married she may not be able to continue her passion. There were comments for this post asking her to go against their parent's wishes, break free, you have to take care of yourself and some comments asking her to marry, to heed to her parents, career is not much important and so on. Some of the people advised her to check up with the boy whether he is acceptable for her continuing with her passion, to adjust her family life and continue with her passion. One of the advise which caught my attention is to understand each other and live the life happily. It occurred to me here comes the crux. How one can understand the other completely. Because the parents who raise their children from the day they were born feels that they are not able to understand their wards and say there is generation gap between themselves and their wards. It has to be noted that the children are brought up the way the parents want in their initial stages. If such being the case, how a girl/boy is going to understand each other in a short span of time. So i feel having a long chat with each other, know the strength and weakness of the partner and build the relationship upon it. The strength can be built up and they can improve on the weakness of each other with the help of the partner. The ego, chauvanisam, one upman (woman)ship should not be there in the picture at all. That is how i ran my family and taught my children also. Now that i am retired from the service, have retired myself from running the family also. This is what you can call a real retired life. I know how to earn and can go on working for three or four days continuously without sleep. ( now it takes its toll) while my wife is an expert in administering the family. So we recognised each other's strength and left things to be taken care of based on our strength. This not only prevents the family plunging into chaos but also helps loving each other. Yes I proudly acknowledge that my wife is the reason for the well being of my family. For today's boys and girls who are looking for a partner, this is my request. dont put conditions on each other. You are not entering into business partnership which is based on a document. Life is not based on a document it is purely based on your heart mostly and your brain occasionally. I am making this comment because one of my friend is looking for a bride for his son and told me this experience. In the ad given in the matrimonial site the girl has indicated that the boy must be ready to go separately (Thani kudithanam) leaving his parents and the girl will ensure that they will be taken care of well. My friend and his son accepted this condition (they felt a single bed room flat can be bought nearby their flat and the oldies can go there). So he phoned up. The girl's father picked up the phone. He told my friend " I must be taken care of by your son the way my daughter is taking care of us now". When informed about the condition his daughter indicated in her profile the phone was disconnected.

The murder of Ms.Swathi has shocked most people. So many people are posting their mind on this. Some are blaming the government machinery, some the individuals and some blame themselves. Some people likeAshwini Varadharajan appealed to all of us not to cast aspersions on that girls. Her post left me speechless and it is from a person who knows the murdered girl and posted by a person with pain of bereavement and pain of her friend being sullied after her death. Sorry Ashwini there are people like that also and we have to live with them also. Cry your heart out and forget those comments and posts. These posts made me think of something else. A murder can happen to person belonging to any male or female or transgender. Their families and friends are going to be devastated. Pardon me for saying this. There is an old saying in tamil "Uppum thanniyum ulliranga thuyaram poividum" meaning time heals. But there is a crime in which the victims were only girls. Not only the family and friends of the victim but also the girl herself is going to be devastated because of that. The adage time heals is not going to work in this case. The victim suffers not only physically but also mentally. The scar is going to be with her all through her life. Yes i am talking about rape which i consider more heinous than murder. I feel even a prostitute, who is ready to bed anybody for consideration, has a right a refuse a person's advances for the simple reason she did not like him. Nowadays more laws are in the offing like marital rape and so on. How to prevent it. As Manikandan Sridharan and one more person whose name i forgot feels the government cannot appoint a body guard to each and every person. Fixing of CCTV cameras may help in arresting the culprit but wont help in prevention of the crime. India is a country where any amount of preaching is not going to help. So we have to be on our guard against such crimes. Again the big question comes. How? These are the things which comes to my mind immediately.

For Boys first: 1. Porno sites and books will give you an idea that every girl is willing and ready to go to bed with you. It is like any other cinema and novel. Not real. Thinking they are true and acting upon that idea will severely harm you and the girl.
2. I am 65 and know what is a consensual sex is. It will be really a wonderful experience if the physical activity is driven by heartfelt affection and love for the girl and vice versa. You can never enjoy a forced sex even with a prostitute.
3. With all the incest stories available in porn sites i feel it is worthless if i say consider them as your sister, mom etc. Don't consider them as your relative but consider them as a human being like you with all the ecstasies and pains you feel.
4. A maximum 15 minute act is going to leave a permanent scar on her and your future may be spoiled.
5. We always have the choice to ignore provocative dress and actions. Please also remember the body parts of the woman which is visible to you is there for the specific purpose of feeding a child in the safest way possible.
6. Try to go to a ladies ward in a hospital where you will understand what a woman undergoes. Once you see their suffering you will never get the idea of raping a girl during your lifetime.

For the Girls: 1. Don't become so close to anybody unless you absolutely trust that person irrespective of their gender.
2. I am not advising you how to dress but you yourself decide how to dress and see to that it is not provocative.
3. Avoid being alone, unless otherwise absolutely warranted, with a male however trustful he is
4. There are immobilising sprays available in the market and hope your hand bags are big enough to hold such sprays.
5. Learn minimum defense like karate etc.
6. Never lose your courage under any circumstances and dont be afraid to shout at the top of your voice if the situation warrants.

For the parents:
1. Teach your daughter about good touch and bad touch at an early age itself
2. Make it a point to teach her Karate like things
3. Teach your wards about what is sex and how to handle it when they are around the age of 10 or11
4. Teach your sons that the body of the woman is not a pleasure object
5. Teach him how to respect a woman what is a gentleman's behaviour

Only these are the things coming to my mind right now.
‪#‎rskpolambal‬#

just saw the sad news about the death of Ms. Swathi infosys employee. Any amount of words in any language is not going to console the bereaved family. And it is most unfortunate death the girl has met. Whatever may be the reason she need not have gone and that too in this way. Pains me a lot such a young life has been plucked from our midst. Don't know what were her dreams ambitions expectations and plans. but one thing is sure that every one of those has been killed along with her leaving her family and friends shattered. In my earlier days we were living in independent houses. If some one is in serious condition, some one will arrange for a vehicle (mostly bullock carts). some one will take cash. Two or three persons will accompany the cart in cycles to the hospital. Somebody will be there already to take care of things. In fact i can narrate my own experience. I was at Mayiladuturai then. My son had a fall from the third floor to the ground and the skull was opened. Dont know who took him to the hospital. My office received a phone call about the incident. I have been asked by my friends to accompany them. I was not permitted to drive the bike but asked to ride the pillion. Before my reaching the hospital, some of my office colleagues were there and discussed things with the doctor. The doctor advised them to take the boy to Thanjavur Medical Collage hospital which is roughly 80 kms from Mayiladuturai. One lady took the keys of my house went home packed some cloths for my wife and myself. A car was arranged. All the keys of the office which i was having was taken over in the hospital by some office colleague. We were put in the taxi and the driver was asked to drive fast. Our AGM phoned up the Dy.Supdt. of Police and the DSP saw to it that the road to Thanjavur is free. One car carried us and in two other cars the office staff followed. Meanwhile the union secretary phoned up the union secretary at Thanjavur and explained the position. A person who was influential with the Doctors in Thanjavur Medical College was deputed to hospital and he was making arrangements at the hospital to receive us. We reached the hospital in record time and the hospital staff with stretcher were standing at the entrance waiting for us. My son got admitted in the hospital and was immediately attended to by the doctors. It took nearly three hours for the Doctors to declare my son is safe. All the people were waiting (including those from thanjavur office) and only after they heard the news that my son was safe they left leaving a girl and a boy to help us. Now my son is working in IT happily married and having a daughter.

Where that humanity gone? Those people who helped me are still alive and helping others like me in whatever way they can. I feel living in apartments made us weaklings. People were looking at the incident when that girl was hacked. If some one shouted at that man who hacked or immediately rushed the girl to a hospital she might have been alive now. Really saddened the way the society is behaving.

Though the words are not going to help the family in any way, i will fail my conciousness if i fail to convey my condolences to the bereaved family. Pray Sadguru to encompass them and give them the mental and physical strength to bear this tragedy. ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

OHM SRI GURUBHYO NAMAHA
GNANANANDHA GNANANANDHA SADGURU GNANANANDHA
PURCHASE OF A FLAT
It was in the year 1996. A working day evening. I received a phone call from Chennai. Sirkali Balu mama was on phone. He purchased a flat in Chennai and the ground floor is available for sale and he wanted me to purchase it. Because of my financial conditions i was saying sorry i will not be able to purchase. He was adamant and told me that he had already prayed Gurunathar that he must help me purchase that flat and i must consult my wife before telling no to him. (He considers my wife as his daughter and has more faith on her than me). Repeatedly i was saying no to him. One of our constituents was sitting before me when i was attending the call. After completion of the call he asked me what was the problem which made me repeatedly say no. I explained to him the situation and my inability to purchase the flat because of my financial constraints. He said OK and left. I left for my home and told my wife what transpired between myself and balu mama and she also concurred with me.
Next day I went to office. By noon one person came to me and told me that his boss wants me to meet him at his office when i go home for lunch. So I went to his office and met him. He told me to have lunch with him. When i said my wife will be waiting he told me that he had already sent word to her that i am having lunch with him. After lunch he again took me to his office and gave me Rs.50,000/- and told me leave the bike here. I have already arranged for your sons to go to your house and your wife and kids will be ready. You just inform your manager you will be on leave for two days and will not be coming to office in the evening. You inform the person in Chennai also that you are coming with advance to purchase the flat. The driver will take you to Chennai and bring you back in my car. My protests were in vain. When i told him i don’t have sufficient financial strength to purchase the flat he offered one via media solution. He will wait for nine months. If i was not able to purchase tht flat he will register it in his name. So go and give advance. Thus i gave the advance to Chennai flat. In another by selling some jwells and loans from the office i could manage to pay another one lac to the builder and another 4 lacs to be given to him for complete take over of the flat. My efforts to generate funds have failed miserably. Then an idea struck. I went to thapovanam and in Manimandapam i told Gurunathar i wont shave or get my hair cut till you help me in purchasing the flat. If it is registered in my name i will tonsure my head in your sannadhi. ( i used to do this often with Gurunathar). Returned back to my work place. After few days my sister in law called me and told me “ Athimber i have around Rs.1.5 lacs with me and want to invest it some where. Will you invest it for me. Then a thought struck me and i asked her can i utilise the amount for my personal use and i will pay interest. She simply said no interest is needed and you can utilise the amount . i will send the draft tomaro”. I felt little bit relieved. After four days i received a draft for Rs.3.5lacs along with a letter stating that as the funds are going to be utilised by me for purchase of a flat she has sent whatever funds available with her including the amount she had intended to invest where she was living. On the same day night my father in law came to my house withRs.1 lac and was asking me why i had not informed him about my predicament and he has to learn it from balu mama.
Armed with cash i along with my family proceeded to Chennai and handed over the money to the builder and wanted the registration to be completed on the next day. I was staying with Balu mama and i to him my programme was to complete registration proceed to thapovanam tonsure my head and from there proceed to my work place.
Next day morning we received news that the person who is to register the properties in my name is not willing to do so as the builder has failed to pay him properly. We, who were hopeful till morning that the registration will be done on that day lost hope and got dejected. I told balu mama come on let us go to thapovanam as planned and i will tonsure my head. It is for Gurunathar to decide what we should do further. Then balu mama asked me to wait. He went to the Pooja room. Sat in front of the prints of Gurunathar’s padham and told him “ You i consider her as my daughter. Both of them are here with hope and i asked them to do this. I don’t want them to return empty handed. Now it is for you to decide”. Telling this he told us come on let us eat and start to thapovanam. We were completing out brunch one person came calling balu mama’s name. Mama asked him to come inside. He told Balu mama Just two of you people come to Registrar’s office. Registration will be done only for you. Don’t tell it to anybody.” Do i need to tell any more?

JAI SADGURUNATH MAHARAJ KI MAGIZHVITHU MAGIZH

" Amma naan vilayaada poren" "Intha cofeeyai kudichuttu enge venumnaalum poi tholai". This will change depending upon the time i say i am going out to play. When i come out on the street there already will be three or four boys who had decided what we should we play on that day. And the decision depends on who is there on that day. If the person who owns a cricket bat is there then it will be cricket on that day. if a person who owns a tennis ball is there then it will be Pullayar Pandhu. If a person who owns lot of marbles is there then it will be the game called "Bendha". If no such persons are available then it will be "Thorattu kuchi" which all of us will be having. Except cricket all other things will be played in our street itself. Cricket will be played in the midst of river cauvery where the clay forms a ground like structure called "Thittu". The centre of the pitch will be in that thittu at a higher level. The space in the thittu was not sufficient to place all the fielders. So only wicket keeper, bowler, two slips, leg slip and short leg will be in the thittu. all other fielders will be standing away at the sand. At times the head of the long on fielder will be even to the top of the thittu. This will lead to anomalous situations. A batsman will hit the ball at his ankle hight. When it reaches the fielder it will over his head leading to easy catch. The leg umpire has to decide whether the ball touched the ground. At times we used to play cricket ball matches. Then the rules of the game will be changed to suit our conditions. First conditions there will be two captains. One captain is called winning captain. Normally the person who owns a bat will be appointed in this position. He will sign the score card if we win the match. The other will be losing captain. Normally he will be the person who is in the team at the mercy of the winning captain and mostly will be the 12th man. He will be given a chance to field whenever the captain feels little bit tired. This happens when the team is on the verge of losing. There will be groves surrounding the thittu. they will be little bit away from the pitch. Second condition is whoever is hitting the ball into the grove will be given ten minutes. If he is not able to retrieve the ball within that time the team is considered lost. So most of the people will refrain from hitting sixers. Moreover, the team to which the batsman belongs has to replace the ball with a new one. Unfortunately you may have to go to thanjavur for purchase of a new ball as the ball was not available in Thirukkattupalli at that time. This involves additional cost and few people have to guts to tell their parents that they have to go to Thanjavur for this purpose. One team has to bring the bat and the other has to bring the ball. No lunch or drinks will be provided by any team. The teams have to bring their own score card and declare the names of the team members in the previous evening itself. Only at the most extraordinary circumstances the teams will be permitted to make one or two changes. There is an unwritten law that always in any match the ball owner will be the opening bowler ( he may even bowl underarn) and the bat owner will be the opening batsman. Normally the match will be played till one team wins. In the event of a call from home for the owner of the bat or ball in the midst of the match, the match will be continued on the next holiday unless otherwise exams are on the way.

My father who is 90 now, used to say that my grand children are intelligent. They dont waste their energy by going out in the sun to play. He does not know that my grand children are playing their games in PC and Mobile ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Yesterday i read an article in Dinamalar. Famous actress Rohini has said that there are no new path breaking writers are entering in literary field from the ladies side. The article was a reply to her statement. In the article the writer has identified Kutty Revathi, Salma and maithri as the new path breaking writers. He has also quoted some of their poems as evidence. Though i have read some of the poems by Kutty Revathi and Salma these poems shocked me. May be because i am from old school and strictly warned by my parents and teachers not to use even slang. Naming and talking about private parts in public except to doctors is strictly prohibited and if some parents hear that their ward used such words one can be damn sure that a severe punishment is awaiting. Both Kutty Revathy and Salma re using the names of the private parts in their poems which is supposed to be read by general public without any age restriction. Dont tell me that boys and girls should know them in their early age. I accept but they should learn from teachers or from their parents who knows how to teach it as academic and not through such books. Moreover, i find lot of people using four letter words and harsh words in their posts and comments. Ofcourse, while those post in the face book are going to tell me that they are angry while the likes of Salma and Kutty Revathy say they are using it as they are liberated women without any inhibitions. Is this the way to show your anger or to say you are liberated? can't you convey your anger or being liberated with some other decent words? Or am i living in utopia, faar away removed from reality?‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

This is a hashtag i have created for this type of posts by me. This will not be used for any other posts like about Swami Gnananandagiri swamigal. Today i want to have a lighter post as the two earlier ones are little bit heavy (at least to me). In this i am going to tell how the Gothram saved me.(?)

He was my thickest friend from school days. Wearing his shirts, eating from the same plate, my sleeping at his house and him sleeping at my house are all very normal things as far as both the families are concerned. His father is a wealth land lord having coconut groves, plantain groves agricultural lands and lots of buildings. Normally the friend's father will leave in the early morning and return late night. Occasionally he will be home for lunch. So he will see me once in a while when both our timings match. but he knows about our friendship.

I got appointed in a bank around 60 km away from where my parents and friend reside. Hence i will visit my home as well as his on every weekend. This routine was going on since i got appointed. My friend has a sister who was in school. She fell in love with her own uncle (her mother's peroyappa's son) who is a central government employee. We cant say his status is equal to that of the girl. He was living in another town. So the chance of them meeting frequently is very slim. The fact that she is in love with her uncle is known to her immediate family and our friends' circle except to her father. We used to help her in meeting her fiancée whenever he comes to meet her.In the meantime i got the appointment and moved away. Till then she used to write letters and give it one of us who will post it. From the day i got appointed the system was changed. She will write letters ( at times daily once) and keep them with her till i reach her home on weekends. Then the letters (not covered in the literal sense) will be handed over to me. I will purchase a cover depending on the number of letters and post it. The posting will be done after my reaching the office. This happens on the vice versa also. He will write to my address. As a dutiful friend i will deliver the cover without opening them. Everything was cosy till one evening.
On a sunday, when i was at her home she handed over a bunch of letters for posting. As i intended to leave for my office on sunday itself i simply kept them in my shirt pocket, came back to my home, removed my shirt, hanged in the hanger and went to bathroom to take a bath before proceeding to bus stand. Meanwhile, my sister who wanted some cash went through my shirt pocket ( again a regular practice for my sisters. I will be keeping money in two or three places so that even if i did not notice her taking the cash there wont be any problem for bus ticket and other things) and took that letters and read them. It was promptly brought into the notice of my parents by her. There was a war council going on in the hall when i returned from the bathroom. I innocently asked what is the problem. Then the bombshell came. are you in love with that girl? i vehemently denied it. Then the evidence was thrown into my face.Again i denied. Then i was asked to read that letters. The letter went on like this " Dear my sweet love, lots and lots of kisses. bla bla ... i was waiting to see you the for the last two sundays. But you were not here. (unfortunately i have not also came home for the last two weekends as i was away attending marriages and a union meeting)So come home atleast this weekend. bla bla bla. signed yours in love for ever xxxxxxx. Sheepishly i have to tell them the entire story and the lover is not me and it was her uncle. Though they accepted my explanation there was some disbelief in their eyes. Then it struck me " Dad both of us (the girl and me) belong to Srivatsa gothram. " The matter was conveyed to the girl's father by my father and after some pursuation ( we, friends, simply told him unless you agree for this marriage we will help the boy elope your daughter and we will see to that they got married in a Registrar's office. My father was working in that office so i know the procedures and loopholes). She got married to the person she loved and is living happily now. From that day onwards i handed over lots of postal covers and asked her to paste the covers and hand it over to me. Even now when we meet we used to have a hearty laugh over this incident.

I was little bit confused what to write. whether to continue what i have written yesterday or go in for a new one. Gone through what I have written yesterday and felt it was little bit inadequate. To satisfy myself i am continuing further or elaborating further. Pray Sadguru to bless you all with a wonderful, peaceful,healthy and cemented relationship. Be a happy couple and make every one around you happy.

Now i can say i belong to upper middle class. So financially no problems for me or my sons. My sons are very much attached to us (rather to their mom) so we did not have the fear of losing them or their leaving us in a home. We know, even if we demand they wont oblige us. When we wanted to purchase two flats one for each of them, both of them including their wives told us purchase as many flats as you like but there should be only one kitchen. In most of the families this type of cohesion which is lacking. The oldies have a fear that their ward may leave them with some home. And this fear is more to those who do not have a strong financial backup. They feel completely at the mercy of their children. In my house i told my children what i am earning when they were doing their 10th and 9th standard. so they know how much investments i have and took it upon them to support me financially whenever it is necessary and at times when not necessary also. The second thing is they fear to share their ward with their daughter in law. This is a ticklish thing. My advise to elders is if you cant understand a person who was with you for nearly 25 years then how do you expect to understand a girl who has just entered into your household. Moreover the parents of the sons are having one more advantage which even the original parents of the girl did not have. Yah till then you did not have a daughter. Now you got a girl who can be your daughter and can be with you day in and day out for your life. It is for you to utilise this opportunity. Once she accepts you as her foster parents you need not fear anything.

For young girls who are entering a new household, the best way to one's heart is through their stomach. But dont take this literally. most of the MILs dont want to hand over the kitchen duties to their DILs as they think it is their domain. So start helping them in the kitchen initially. Whether it is needed or not seek their permission for anything and everything. In the course of time they will hand over the kitchen to you and simply tell you ok ma. you need not ask us for everything. Once grand children born you will be completely free.

I am seeing some posts about leaving old people in old age homes. I dont know anything about old age homes as we are living as a joint family with sons, daughters in law grand children etc. I am nearing 65 and this is a point of view of an old man which , i am definite, is going to differ with the young ones atleast with a minimum of 180 degrees.

Nowadays i find so many girls looking for a husband with his family living with him. (Dont fight with me i have seen so many girls and just because you are saying it is not so i am not going to change my opinion). They are looking for a joint family atleast to take care of the children when they go to office. But there is a fear lurking in their mind what will happen if the other members of the family interfere with their life. A genuine worry which nobody in their right mind will ignore. Now i am going to tell you how i am avoiding this problem.

The first drift away from the husband's family happens when the boy's family makes demands. Some may argue this is true as for as girls are concerned also. but such marriages are very rare where the boy's side does whatever the girl's side wants. Whenever the girl sees something which her father struggled to buy for the marriage she develops a slight hatred with her in laws and to certain extant with her hubby also. So my advise to parents of the boys is dont demand anything. The kids themselves are capable of getting what they wanted. Or if you are so much interested you pay for it and ask them to get it. Secondly dont take decisions for them thinking they are inexperienced. Remember they are employed and are taking decisions in domains we have not ever dreamt of. ,Moreover, we are not going to be alive for ever. At one point of time or other they have to take their own decisions. Leave it to them and let them face the consequences. If at at you feel the decision taken by them is wrong just INFORM them with reasons that they are wrong. dont impose your ideas on them. Most of the time they realise their mistakes. In short be a guide. explain the nuances and let them enjoy more with that knowledge. Thirdly never i once again repeat never ever interfere in their lives. If you hear them fighting in their bed room, remember it is their bedroom and not yours. Be glad they choose their bedroom to fight and not the hall. Meaning that they not only value their privacy more but also respect you not to get hurt in their fight. If they want you to know they will come to you automatically. If they come to you remember they are there only for counselling and not for decision. Fourthly dont insist that you must be informed of anything and everything happening between them. If they feel it is worthy to tell you it will be an automatic happening. Keep financial dealings seperate wherever and whenever possible. dont differentiate between daughter in laws. One may have a rich background and the other may not have it.and tell that to sambandhis also. This post is mainly aimed at to my next generation who are in line to become in laws. So many things are flooding my mind but this post is becoming too long. so rest in some other post ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

" Dad maths tution teacher has changed his house. so we can walk no more to tution. we need some vehicle. You have two days time as there will be no tution for the next two days due to shifting of house". Sons have explained their position and it is now our take. " We have to go for two cycles each one as the time they return from tution may differ and the cycles may cost around 1750/- each. So we have to resort to the inevitable" decision taken. wife's chain entered into bank vault. Satisfaction will be there as now two bank officials are responsible for its safety. we need not worry atleast for another 18 months. ( Since my marriage it was housed in the bank's vault more often than in the neck of my wife). So entire family went to cycle mart. Fortunately one of my customers who is closely related to the cycle shop owner helped me reduce the cost of the cycle by Rs.500/- in total. The owner promised in two days he will see that both the cycles were delivered at my residence. The "D" day came. Sons were excited. "Dad can i apply leave and remain at home to check whether the cycle has all the parts we have ordered". We simply said yes. By evening the cycles came. Both the boys took them to the street corner pillaiyar koil and pooja performed. garlanded and stamped with kungumam, sandhanam and vibhoothi the cycles returned home. Next day morning, the commotion of cleaning the cycle woke me up. Wife told me to get from this month onwards add 1 kg of coconut oil so that it will help your sons to keep their cycles polished.

Dont know how the habit of consulting my wife on anything and everything formed on me. I never saw my father consult my mother on anything. But this consulting helped me in coming up in the life. We both know where we stood at any point of time so that none of will over step. This slowly extended to consulting my sons also. All the four of us knew what are my earnings and how much is being spent on household and how much surplus/ deficit cash we were having. Though we gave whatever my sons' desired, they saw to it that they desire only what we can afford. We planned and started saving when they are 10 and 11.

Thankfully, this practice of consulting wives and all in the family continues as tradition in our family even today. Having a wife is the best asset a person can have in their entire life and i am thankful for my parents for giving me such a gift. ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

"Yendi avan velaikku poyi 5 varusham aayiduthe avanukku jathakam edukalaiya". " illaimma, antha kadankaaranntta athai pathi pesa enakku bayama irukku. intha thulukkachiya thaan kattippennu otha kaalla nippanonnu thonrathu" "Nee bayapadaathe naan pesi pakkaren avanntta". This is the conversation between my mother and grand ma which happened one sunday evening when i was starting to leave for my work place. Grand ma called me and both of us were seated in the oonjal in the hall. Mom was in the kitchen (standing behind the door) supposed to be doing some work. So the help of my chithi who is very close to me was sought. Next saturday evening when i was back home, chithi was there. I asked chithi had i known you are coming i would have come to your house and picked you up. ( she was residing in a town which is on the way to my vilage) She replied i came here yesterday itself. after the tiffin and things are over both of us went out to the only Pillayar temple in that village. Slowly she started " we want to see you get married. Do you have any girl in mind? if such girl is there tell me i will talk to athimber and akka so that you wont have any problem in marrying her. If she is from other caste or religion dont tell me i wont help you though i like you a lot and want to help you marry a girl you like". She was very much relieved when i said i dont have any ( like so many boys of today i was also not considered as a husband material by many girls) and my only condition is that i will see only one girl and that girl wil be my wife. dont want to select from a group of girls. this was duly conveyed to my parents and hunting of a bride for me began. horoscopes received given to josier for matching which were promptly rejected by him. Exasperated, at one point of time my dad asked the josier whether he has any daughters of marriageable age and if he had he is ready to take that girl as daughter in law even without matching the horoscope. fortunately or unfortunately the josier's daughter was already married. After filtering finally one girl was selected. Parents, chithi, brothers excepting me went there and saw the girl and all of them were satisfied. The next sunday was fixed as the bride seeing date. Meanwhile, people who saw that girl were telling me how beautiful that girl is, how wealthy her father is how they own a house in a busy area in Kumbakonam and their intention came clear that i should not say no to this girl (even though i told them i vl see only one girl they hd their own doubts). Sunday came. Again all of them, this time including me and my friend, went to the girl's house. A lot of people were there, introduced to me and my family. Every face looked to me like a chinese one and i had no idea who was sister, who was mother, who was periyamma, who was periyamma's daughter, son, husband and so on. The first time i started shaking my head to say yes ( yet to stop). Then they brought the girl. Everything offered to us for eating was prepared by the girl, that was how we were informed by all those standing beside her. If such was the case the girl would not have been there as is fresh from the bath. I told my friend to check up whether i can have a talk with the girl alone, he was told by my father that my intention was wrong and the people wont like that. So instead of talking to that i ended up talking with her sister who was in her second standard. This happened on May 22nd and the marriage was fixed on June 29th. I tried to contact her or atleast see her face once during the intervening period but failed miserably. The next time i saw her was on the day before the marriage during maappillai azhaippu.

One fine morning, i received a call. Sir i have received your son's horoscope and it matches with my daughter's. When i can come over to talk to you about the modalities and your expectations. Then i was working in Salem. So i told him there is nothing to talk about modalities or seer. My only condition is that the boy and the girl should like each other. Will inform you the date when we can come for bride seeing. So i returned back to salem. That day ws my mother's 6th month ceremony and we were at Salem. That morning i again received a phone call Sir today, being a sunday my daughter is available. Will it be possible for you to come over here for bride seeing. I told him i was in Salem and however will come back to you. So i phone up my son and my in laws who were in chennai and told them to proceed with bride seeing without our being present. Went on well my son said yes while my father in is guarded and told them my daughter and son in law will come and tell you about it. But they dont know about my son's concurrence was conveyed to them already. The marriage was fixed in next may i..e. 7 months later. Meanwhile my son used to report to his mother amma today we went to this temple that temple to this restaurant to that restaurant. In April 2007 we bought a new flat and the house warming ceremony was conducted and my future daughter in law conducted poojas in the place of my son. i.e. she conducted the poojas in April but the marriage was conducted in May only.

As for my second son is concerned, he used to take her to besant nagar beach daily (where she was living) and they will talk till 9 have tiffin there at her home and will return to our house for sleeping. this happened till they got married. ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

My father was aged 3 and his sister was 5 when they lost their mother. and in another four years lost their father also. So their growth story is not born out of love but out of sympathy of some of the neighbours till such time the sister was ready to take over the reins. Then sister got married ( marriage was conducted with the help of the people in agraharam and she was the second wife for her husband. But in one way she was lucky her husband showered his love till his deathbed.) Some how my dad grew up and got a government job near his village itself. my maternal grand father was interested in bhajans and spent his entire life on nama sankeerthanam without expecting any earnings. Till such time my uncle could get a job my grand ma has to depend on her mother for support. Thus my great grand ma entered into picture. My father was living in the opposite house of my great grand ma's sister and when she saw my dad she liked him and fixed him as the husband of my mom. The marriage was conducted simply ( totally only six people from my dad's side attended the marriage). Great grand ma chose a house for my parents and stayed with them to be their guide in the initial stages of life. I never saw my dad looking at my mom with loving eyes or heard any endearments uttered. But one thing is for sure. I also never saw them fight amongst them selves. We, brothers and sisters were brought up under strict control. Movies a strict no no. ( one of the co tenants with us was a health inspector in a municipality. so he will be given free passes in the movie theatres. one fine evening after much pursuation from him and his wife along with their entire family my parents relented and took us to a movie. The name of the movie is Senjulakshmi.) School uniforms will be purchased for deepavali. Nobody ever said love you to anybody in my house. The only way my mother know to express her love is by cooking to our taste and there will be plenty of it.

Time rolled. I got married. Went on honey moon to Kannambadi dam (Presently called K.R.Sagar, Mysore) Wanted to hold the hands of my wife which she flatly refused as people are around. My pleadings with her to look around and see for herself the couples holding hands, her immediately reply was " venkamketta manusharkal". When my first child was born and my wife at her parents house i wrote a letter enquiring about her health and baby though i used to visit them once a week, i became the butt of the joke in my in law's home for writing such a letter. There ended my saying I love you saga.

My sons got married. Two new girls came and converted our house into a home. Whenever, we purchased something for them they started telling us i love you appa love you amma. Dont know how to express what i am feeling. one thing is for sure i am at cloud 9.

My mother expired in 2007. My father is 90 now and his can't say he is at his full senses. but even when he is not in his senses, all he rambles was about my mother and nothing except her. Now i can understand how much deep the love is though it was not exhibited in front of us.

Now i have a question? Is is necessary to say i love you to show i love people. is not a gentle hand holding, pat on the shoulders, slight kiss on the forehead, or my usual way of kissing on the cheeks/ kalaichufying the hair enough? ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

The teacher just announced that there will be an excursion and all the students must bring Rs.5/- to join. Exhilarated ran to home and asked amma please give me five rupees i want to go to excursion. sorryda kanna i dont have money and dont think appa will also have that amount to spare. let him come and let us see. Father came and the result was as mother predicted. Father's refusal angered me and i started to cry. nobody took notice of me after trying to convince me few times. I refused to eat and went on hunger strike. Don't know when i went to sleep. After some time felt my head in mother's lap and her feeding me. most probably it would have been a more saadam ( mother strongly believed that i will become a fool if i had curd in the night. she does not know i can become a fool even without eating curd). Got up in the morning and still angry (not to the extant of leaving without eating anything) left for the school. Anger was some what mitigated by the fact that there are some who are like me and cannot afford that trip.

Years rolled by.Finished my S.S.L.C and joined in the Kumbakonam collage. It taught me everything except how to study. I became street smart and learned new tricks to cheat my mother and father. I will be given 40 paise towards bus charge to go to collage. I befriended a person who is going to collage in his cycle and used to piggy ride with him daily saving that 40 paise. both of us are regular visitors to Jupiter talkies, Diamond Talkies and Vijayalakshmi talkies (which used to be converted to a drama stage once in a month and remaining days will function as theatre). Result i royally failed to pass Pre University Exam. As customary to people like joined in typewriting and short hand class. passed lower and failed again in higher. This time the reason is not movie it was two beautiful girls. Instead of typing what the teacher asked me to type i typed lengthy love letters ( that practice still continues - i meant writing lengthly) and torn them immediately after leaving the class as i did not have the courage to give it to them. Got a job in the Bank with a total take home pay of Rs.156/-.
Our house was situated between two bus stops with equal distance from either of them. To go to Kumbakonam from one stop you have to pay 30 paise and from another you have to pay 25 paise. Father used to go to 25 paise bus stop while i used to go to the other. Parents used to scold me that i am squandering the money and i will never come up in my life if i continue in such a way. During 1974 i came to Chennai for first time and purchased a few items for my sisters for a total cost of Rs.17/- and though they liked the fact i purchased it for my sisters i was still scolded for spending too much on dresses. Life went on. got married and sons born. they grew up and got their employment and one day took us to Hotel Le Meridian. The bill came to Rs. 8000/=. That night myself and my wife were worried how my sons are squandering their hard earned money. Wonder what my son and his wife will think when their son does something like this ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

When i woke up both my parents were not at home. i was 11 and doing my sixth standard. With the fear of unknown lurking in my mind i ventured out of the bed room to find none. Saw the front door simply closed and not locked. Gaining little bit mental strength ventured out to see a small crowd in front of a neighbour's house where my father was also standing. On seeing me he came and told me to drink the coffee in the kitchen and wait for mother. I did so and came out again. Thousand thoughts swirling in my mind. Any body died in that house? but to my knowledge no old people were there. And the crying was also not loud but subdued. confused stayed in the porch. After some time a group of non brahmin men and ladies were seen entering that house. I followed them and heard one of the man uttering "sorry Till now we dont know anything and suddenly this thing happened. Please understand our misery and dont curse us. Take it from us we have disowned him and will have no relations with him hereafter. If you want us to take any action, we will take it and bring your daughter to you. Please tell us what to do". There was commotion as every one started talking. After the initial din the girl's father spoke. " Whatever happened had happened and we are not in a position to reverse it. I dont want the girl at my house hereafter. Do whatever you like. I know that you are also grieving because of your only son left you. so no cursing from our part and you also dont curse them. let them live their life. The only thing is we will not be having anything with her hereafter". Then the crowd dispersed. The people there were telling the new comers that the akka at that house eloped with some one not belonging to our caste. Though i heard the words i could not comprehend the meaning. Only thing i can understand that was i will not be able to see that akka hereafter.

Much water flowed under bridge. My father was transferred and as usual we settled in another village with the school and office 2 kms away from home. New friends new school the life went on as usual. One evening after classes i was waiting for my friends to come. But heard some one calling my name. Turned and saw akka. On seeing her, being an old acquintance, i smiled. She saw me smile and came fast and hugged me tight and started crying. Her hubby who was standing beside her, was simply put his hand on her shoulder and let her cry her heart out. After few minutes akka smiled and asked me to come to a hotel with her. Her hubby was smiling at me with the invitation in his eyes. Without any hesitation ( mostly because going to eat in hotel which was a rarity in those days) i simply followed her and had a belly ful. After that she asked me the reason for my being there and other details. i simply answered all her questions. Then she asked me a strange question. " will you ask your father whether we can come an meet him at your house?" Puzzled i said yes. Went home. Mother asked me why i was late and i was under heavy confusion whether i can say to her i met akka or keep silent. then the request of akka came to mind and i blurted out the truth. Mother was taken aback and without answering me she simply left to attend other chores. When father came the matter was discussed in detail between the parents and the told me to tell akka to come. She came with her husband and after initial chit chat put one request to my dad. Please take up the matter with both our families and we want to be with them. Father said i will try but cannot assure you of anything. My father tried but failed. Subsequently we were again transferred and lost contact with akka. Whenever i am going out i am looking for akka in the crowd and want to know from her whether the family got united. ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Yendi avan velaikku poi 5 varushamachu innum jadhagam edukkalaiya". This question and other related talks you might have already read in another post. So not going to repeat them again. With my allaying their fears the spreading of word went on full pitch. " Komuvoda athai maattuponnukku chithiyoda machini pethi oruthi irukkalam. ponnu nanna iruppalam. nanna seyvaalam. Santhanathukku paakkalama". Nee solrathai paartha romba periya idama irukkum pola irukke namba sambanthathukku avaa othuppaala". So rejected. Kodiyaaathu ammuluvukku etho relationam athai paakkalama? Ammuluvaa avaa sangaathame vendam evvalavu senjaalum sari ponnu rathiyaave irunthaalum sari. ava vayum raangiyum. avaathula poi yaaravathu sambandam vachuppaalo" so rejected. So many horoscopes came. They were rejected in the initial stages itself by mother and daughter duo. Atlast some horoscopes came. Father was asked to take them to josier and check whether they match. In none of the horoscope the navagrahas were in places where they are supposed to be for me to get married. Again rejection. Atlast one horoscope came. The bride's side said they got the horoscope through a josier (who fortunately happened to be my distant relative) and was considered matching with their daughter's. As the horoscope was already matched by our relative it has been decided that the bride seeing can be arranged (Actual reason is if we took the horoscope to our regular josier the chance of it being rejected is more) It as fixed on a sunday evening 3 to 4.30 on May 21st. We started from our home around 1.30 pm by bus. With the rush and heavy sweating, crushed and squeezed reached the girl's home in one piece. There were lot of people waiting for us there. They were introduced to us as Periyappa, Mama, Machinan, Thambi and all those. It took me almost five years to recognise who is whom. Fortunately or unfortunately for me some of them left the world itself so as to not harm my memory. After serving of Kesari (the last day when i ate that and it was the same day i started hating its cousin uppuma) Bonda and coffee the girl was brought to the hall. She was looking at the floor. From the quantity of jasmine i decided it was the girl whom i am supposed to marry. My mother asked her whether she knows singing and was advised M.S.Subbulakshmi learned singing from that girl. She started singing the first line of Bandureethikola then her brother, sisters, periyamma, pakkaathhaathu mami, ethuthathu maami and most of the ladies started singing with her and she stopped singing. I was wondering what is the use of asking her to sing. Wanted to talk to her alone which idea was immediately shot down by my parents as it will send a wrong signal about me to the bride's side. For a formality i was asked whether i like the girl? (before starting from my house my chithi has paid encomiums on the girl how she looks like an apsaras, sings like saraswathi, dresses like thiloththama, and dances like Rambha and indirectly informed me that i am supposed to accept the proposal) AS i have not seen any of those mentioned i simply said yes and the marriage was fixed for June 29th. The next time i saw her was on june 28th.

I got your son's horoscope and it matches with my daughter. In all sum total i can spend only Rs. 2 lacs for the marriage. If you are acceptable you call me let us arrange for girl seeing. The phone call i received in the morning 6.30 am. My wife who was preparing coffee for me and my sons came with coffee and enquired what is the phone call. i told her the gist. It was accepted by all of us the proposal can be accepted. I phone up the girl's father. " I dont bother how much you can spend? all i want it my son must like your daughter and vice versa. If they like each other you need not spend even a single paise. i will take care of it. Moreover, i dont believe in matching horoscopes. so if you want you can go ahead." They said yes. The girl was seen by my son even without my and my wife's presence. Now they are happily married and blessed with a son.

We were at Thapovanam. My first son called. Dad today we got a horoscope and photo of a girll in mail. I saw the photo of the girl. I am 100% confident my brother will like her. what shall i reply. I replied check with your brother again. i will come back in two days and let us proceed further. you can mail this info." he said ok. My routine at the temple was going on. Suddenly i find somebody touching my shoulders. My daughter in law was standing there with my sons. Dad i can't wait. so i copied the mail and brought it to you. i said ok. Next day when we are saying good bye one of the people we revere very much was standing there. He asked me how come all of your family are here? I told him the reason. He immediately replied. Go ahead with the alliance Mahalakshmi is going to born in your house. He has not even seen the horoscope or the girl's photo. Now they are happily married and blessed with a daughter

OHM SHRI GURUBHYO NAMAHA
GNANANANDA GNANANANDA SADGURU GNANANANDA
ATCHAYA PAATTHIRAM
He was with Gurunathar since swami established Thapovanam ashramam. Gurunathar used to conduct classes of Vedhantha vicharam with him. He had the liberty of differing with Gurunathar and telling him that he differs. He had two daughters and a son. He is a man of very moderate income which was sufficient to run the family. His first daughter attained the age of marriage and he was worried about how he is going to conduct the marriage with his meagre income. His son has just started earning. He has no wealthy relatives who can be approached for financial assistance.
He prayed Gurunathar and the life meandered on. Meanwhile a good alliance came for his first daughter and the marriage was fixed. Though the groom’s side did not demand much he felt that he must atleast spend for the necessities. So he approached his brother in law, with whom he did not have any financial dealings till then, and he agreed to take care of the marriage expenses. Satisfied he returned home and now he has to take care of the feeding expenses. He met with a marriage contractor who after checking with the devotee about the number of persons who will be there for breakfast, lunch and dinner for three days and demanded a sum of Rs.33,000/- for the entire marriage. As the amount quoted seemed reasonable the devotee accepted and the marriage preparations were going on. The D Day arrived and the marriage including the kattu saadha koodai went on well. All those invited and those who heard about the marriage attended it and the crowd was more than double of what was expected. The marriage hall was deserted excepting the girl’s father, brother and very very close relatives. The amount has to be settled for the marriage contractor. The devotee was worried how much he will bill, because of the crowd was more than what the cook was told originally. The contractor came and submitted the bill. The bill was for Rs.33,000/-. The devotee was astonished. He asked the contractor why for which the contractor replied that was the original amount accepted by both of them. The devotee said to the contractor “ your bill should have been more. The number of persons who ate were more than double than what i told you at the time of booking. You must have incurred more expenditure atleast on groceries. So recalculate and submit the correct bill”. The contractor replied “ Yes. What you are telling you correct. There are more number of people than expected. But you must know one thing. Before started cooking i prayed to the Gurunathar whose photo you kept at the stage and started cooking. Believe me i have not spent an even a naya paise more than my original purchase and because of Gurunathar’s blessings i am able to serve to all those who came without anybody complaining. I cooked only for the number of people we originally agreed upon and inever increased the quantity nor compromised on the quality. That is why i have submitted the bill for the originally agreed amount and not more because i have not spent anything more than the original estimate.

SADHGURUNATH MAHARAJ KI JAI
MAGIZHVITHU MAGIZH

Start of a story

There are some posts which urges you to comment immediately. and some posts which itself says ignore me and there are some posts which compels you to like it and there are posts which makes you react with a separate post. For the past two days Tslakshmi Narayan is posting such posts. First Keerthana Balakrishnan was inspired by his post and did a post about Love in the point of view of Vivekanandar. I got inspired by Keerthana Balakrishnan's post and wanted to write a post immediately. but today's post by TSL took priority. So the old man's ramblings on a post starts here. This post is mainly for info purposes and not my view on anybody, any historical, past, present or future or otherwise incidents, And is not a supporting one and definitely not a counter post. as told you earlier this post is simply a polambal of an old man. Being the first one a long preface has to be written.

Will i permit my wife/husband to maintain their friendship with their friends even after marriage? a good question. But in my case such a situation did not arise. Back in the 60s we were living in villages (mainly because of lower rent and cheaper cost of milk and vegetables) and have to walk a minimum of 4 kms to school. You can say the entire agraharam belongs to middle income group except one or two who are mirasdars. Both girls and boys were strictly forbidden to talk to the other sex even if they belong to the same village and same class. When going to school the four boys will walk in front followed by girls and then again by boys forming a protective ring. Though we are supposed to protect the girls we are not supposed to talk with them. Only a very senior girl who was doing her SSLC (i.e. todays XI th std.) can talk to us only a few words. If a girl does not attend class on a given day and wanted my note book to copy the lessons the request will come through her parents to my parents and the note will be passed on. The same will happen on return but strict scrutiny by both the parents will be there for any inscription or bit of paper not related to subject. Such was a situation for me. My wife's situation is no different than mine other than she can talk to a boy in the presence of one of her brothers or parents. So none of us had/ have friends in opposite sex to consider whether to continue the friendship. Time moved faster. Parents became older, kids born to us have grown into collage going boys and my parents came to stay with me. One fine evening, my son brought home one girl with a christian name. Unfortunately she was wearing a mini skirt on that day. My mom was sitting in the hall when both of them entered and one should have seen the look on my mother's face. (even now when that girl, who is married and has kids, visits us we are having a hearty laugh thinking about the expression on the face of my mother. Then my son explained to my mother how that christian girl was closely related to us ( read closely and understand how closely she is related to us - my paternal aunt's orpadi's grand daughter - her mother married a christian) my mother permitted her to stay in the hall. #rskpolambals#