ANTHA
KALATHU KALYANAM
"Vango Vango" I came out of
the room on hearing my father's voice. There i can see my neighbour with his
wife in all smiles. I was doing my 8th standard then. He was telling my father
" Bhagavan kribaiyaala annikki ponnu pathuttu ponale antha Madras varan
settle aayiduthu. Nalannaikku Thanjavurla pillaiyoda chithiyathula
nischayathaartham neenga ellarum kandippa varanum. Kooppidathaan vanthen.
Appuram innoru samacharam Kalyanathumpothu ungathula sambandhi erangalamannu
ketkalamnum
vanthen". My father replied " tharalama ava inge vanthu erangattum.
enakku santhosham thaan. Enakku officela velai irukku athunala neenga intha
payalayum avanoda ammavaiyum nischayathaarthakku azhaichindu poittu vanthudungo".
A pact sealed. I rushed out to see akka. She looked radiant and asked me Dei
nee nalannaikku Thanjavur poriya when i said she okayed it and was smiling all
along. The day of betrothal came. Some ten people from the agraharam including relatives
left for Thanjavur. Before start of the ceremony one athai of the groom came
out and asked the bride's mother " yendimma yenna seyyaporelnu pesittela
pinnadi athu kutham ithu koraichalnu sollakoodathu. munnadiyae ellathaiyum
pesindutungo" . The bride's mom said every thing was discussed and
accepted and we have brought with us cash for dress. (The groom's side had not
demanded any dowry, but giving cash for the bridegroom's dress is a custom).
The ceremony went on well. Then bride's mom asked the groom's mom " Maami
ungalukku Seer ethanai murukku ennennannu sollittelna engalukku thayaar panna
sowkariyamaka irukkum". The groom's mom along with his sister consulted
few people and told her engalukku 7 suthula 51 11 suthula 51 mathapadi
ellathulayum 51 vechudungo".This was also accepted. The marriage date was
fixed in another 35 days. When we are returning the bride's mom asked her
husband " yenna nischayathaarthakku oorai kootti irukkalae. Kalyanathukku
evvalavu per varuvzalo? theriyalaiaye. Nammaala samaalikka mudiyuma". Mama
simply smiled and told her " Kozhandha athirstathukku ellam nanna nadakkum
kavalai padathae". Reached our village. Next morning all ladies assembled
at the bride's house. Some one undertook to prepare 2000 appalams, some one
murukku some one sweet, some one undertook to book for milk and prepare
therattu paal. the entire agraharam became busy with preparations. An excited
expectation of the marriage is in the air. Radha, the bride was taught some
cooking items like how to prepare kozhukkattai, how to behave with her in laws,
how to prepare herself for varalakshmi nombu considered to be an essential
qualification for becoming a house wife.
The agraharam was agog with
patties talking how there marriage was conducted. Preparation of appalam,
murukku, oorukai etc was in full swing. Seemed no one was free. We boys
assembled at the bride’s house after school hours. Those who know cycling were
asked to attend the work at some distance while the others were kept for indoor
activities like collecting the appalams and storing at the house where dining
has been arranged. Nathaswaram, maligai, pushpam, photographer, pandalkaran,
Vadhyar, Samayalukku Chief cook like this so many people has to be contacted
and the dates are to be confirmed. Elders took this job of arranging cook etc.
In the evening, the bride and the boys and girls whose handwriting is legible
were asked to write addresses on the invitations. Duly stamped they were sent
to post office with an invitation to the post master also. Bride’s parents,
uncles, aunties were sent to various places to invite their relatives. Then
came logistics.
The Sambandhi people were
to come from Madras. Meanwhile, at the groom’s house yathra dhaanam was
completed and a yellow thread was tied in the hand of the groom. He was advised
not to venture out while that kangan is in his hand. A bag containing some
thing was handed over to him and he was asked to carry it throughout the
journey. All the relatives are ready to start for the marriage. The usual last
minute preparations viz “Neela colour pattu pudava eduthundiyodi” “ Mangalam
Kozhandhaikku ennadi eduthundurukke? Flaskla paal irukka check pannikko.” When
every one is satisfied that every thing has been taken and everything is
somewhat perfect the people left for the station to board the train. The
neighbour was asked to go to post office and inform the bride’s side that the
groom’s party has started and they will reach the nearest railway station to
the village by 4.00 am. The nearest railway station is 20 KM away. One person
who works in a transport company took the responsibility of bringing them from
Railway station to the village. Four able bodied youngsters were identified and
were asked to go to railway station along with a senior member of the family to
welcome the groom’s side.
At the village the Chief cook along with his team arrived in the evening before
the day the groom’s party are supposed to arrive. They checked the groceries
and vegetables. Checked sufficient fire wood was available. Menu was discussed
and finalised. The bride’s parents were invited to the place where the cooking
is going to be done. The chief cook took a fresh bath and arranged firewood in
the aduppu.( don’t know the English word for it and forgot the name for the
aduppu used for marriage functions) The mami was asked to lit the fire and the
cook started saying slogams. “ Oh god I pray that there is possibility of some
insects fall in the fire and die while I am cooking. Please forgive me for this
sin. Oh God by eating my preparation every one stay healthy. Oh god please let
every one eat heartily. Oh god all those people who eat my preparation lead a
healthy and wonderful life. Oh god please grant them long life”. Thus the
cooking for the marriage started.
The troops who went to Railway
station reached in time and were ready for the arrival of the train. The train
arrived. The senior from the bride’s side correctly identified the groom’s
father and welcomed him. While doing so he ordered the boys to bring down the
luggage from the train and load it in the bus waiting outside the station which
was promptly carried out. The transport man arranged for a can of coffee which
was distributed to the sambandhi. This earned a good impression on the bride’s
side. The bus reached the village. Every one alighted. The boys who loaded the
luggage unloaded them and were brought into our house. We were in all smiles to
welcome the groom. Two old ladies came and took aarathi. The groom was
garlanded by the onnu vitta brother of the bride. AS the news of arrival of the
groom spread in the agraharam all the people came to see him. Saw him and some
of them immediately rushed inside the bride’s house and told her “Payyan nanna
irukkaandi.Lakshchanama irukkan” In the midst of it heard one patti telling “ Mappillai
konjam karuppo? Namma radha colorukku maappilai niram mattuthan”. With
festivity in the air the groom’s side entered into the house and were supplied
coffee again. Some of the groom’s relatives were taken to other houses for
bathing and dressing. The people started interacting with each other. There
seems to be a possibility of yet another marriage may be fixed during this day.
Easwara sankalpam
The groom’s party arrived
and settled their luggages. Two boys were appointed to take care of their needs.
“ Dei ambi, kozhandhaikku konjam sooda pasumpaal vangi thaayen. Irukkonno illai
kaasu tharattuma?” “Vendam maami ella palum solli irukku”. Second point
infavour of the bride’s side scored. Ellarum pal thechuttelna coffee
kudikkarela?. Coffee plays an important part in Tambrahm marriages especially
if the groom belongs to Thanjavur district and that too from Kumbakonam area.
The groom’s side belongs to a village near Kumbakonam though they were now
settled in Madras. Then Pillaiyathu Sastrigal announced “yendappa nee un appa
and amma kulichuttu ready aayittela? Ingeye than Vratham. Neenga moonu per
mattum tiffin ethuvum saapidatheengo. Naandhi irukku. Athula sambanda
pattavallam sappidama irukkarathu slaakkiyam”. “Naanga ready mama”. Bride’s
father and mother came to our house and checked with Sambandhi manushal is
everything available and ok. You can ask these boys whatever you want and they
will arrange it. “ “Ellam sowkariyama irukku. Neenga velaiya parungo. Ethavathu
thevaina naanga pathukkarom” Sambandhi mama replied and bride’s parents were
happy. Vradham started.
The same thing happened at the bride’s house also. Vradham started there also.
Ladies were arranging for Paaligai. “Sakku pilliyathula poi Paligai thelikka
vangonnu koopittindu vaadi” Sari mami and Sakku alias Sakunthala left for the
groom’s place. Few ladies came and the procedures were carried out. After
completion they were given thamboolam with some cash. On their return the
groom’s mother enquired them “ Yendi ennadi mariyadhai pannina?”. “ Nanna panni
irukka maami aalukku 5 ruba koduthirukka ( this in 1965 is a very big amount).
“ Unakku mattuma ellarukkuma” The question was addressed towards the sister of
the groom. Ellarukkumthamma” Another point scored. The some ladies approached
the help boys and told them “ Pasangala naanga kovilukku poganumda appadiye
kada theruvil konjam saaman vaanganum. Naanga yettu per porom. Rendu vandu
yerpadu panrela” . Rendu enna maami moonu vandiye yerpadu panrom kooda
Santhanathaiyum anupparom avan ungalukku kadai ellam kamippan. Poittu sappida
vanthudungo”. One more mission accompalished. There was a commotion in the
front yard. One of the ladies was welcoming “ Dei vaa vaa nee madras aathukke
varuvennu ethirpathen. Thambi kalyanathukku ippadi lateah vara. Sari pottiya
vachuttu vaa coffee kudikkalam”. He was introduced as Groom’s Periyappa son and
he will be the Mappillai thozhan in the marriage ( Cousin brothernu ezhutha
ponen. Just remembered Swathi Krishnakumar ’s post. So thought it better to
type in thanglish than in englishnu mudivu pannitten). The the ladies left for
the temple.
Around noon the cook announced Lunch is ready. A senior member from the bride’s
family was sent to groom’s house to invite them for lunch which was promptly
done. Some came some told they will come for next pandhi. They were taken to
the house where the Lunch was served. People from bride’s side was waiting
there expecting the arrival of the sambandhi people. An old man from the
groom’s side “ adada engalukkaagava kathundurukkel. Pavame neenga saappida
aarambikkalama. Ithu enna formality? Oy naama sambandhi aagaporom. Intha
formalitylam vendam saappida vaango”. The hope of the marriage is going to be a
smooth affair was confirmed in every one’s mind there. The message was conveyed
to the bride and to her parents. A relaxing sigh was their answer. Then one
mami came and told the cook oru 15 perukku saappaadu eduthu vachudungo. Konjam
per kovilukku poyirukka. Mappillaiyoda akkavathu sambandhi ellam konjam lateah
varuva. “ athukkenna maami besha varattum ellam neraya irukku. Eppa vena
varattum. Neenga kavala padatheengo” replied the cook.
After finishing vradham and nandhi the groom’s side came for lunch. The eyes of
the groom was searching all through the dining hall. But the person he was
expecting is not there. She wont come till he completes his lunch or if he
wished and said it openly she will come when he leaves. His sister understood
his dilemma and told her mother “ amma naan radhavoda konjam pesanum athunaala
avaloda saappittukkaren “. She went to fetch the bride. As it is against custom
for the bride and groom to talk before exchange of garlands both of them could
only see each other for a fleeting moment.
That was the first time i saw a blushing smile on my Radha akka’s face
Vradham completed. Saappadu
over. Time for the groom’s people to take rest. The bride’s father came to
enquire about whether all of them had their lunch which was immediately
confirmed with a smile. He was asked when the Janvasam is going to be and what is
the distance to the temple. Both the sambandhis and their wives consulted and
arrived at a decision that the janvas may start around 7.00 pm and all the
ladies should be ready by 5.30 p.m. Bullock driven carts will be arranged for
oldies and ladies to go to the temple and others can walk. With this the
bride’s parents left to take their lunch. Time for the groom’s side people to
take rest. Some of them started sleeping there itself and some in neighbouring
houses. Around 3.30 the groom called one of the boys and asked him whether he
can purchase playing cards and offered some money. No mama i have been given
money for this purpose. Then one mama came and told him “Dei ambi unakku seettu
kattu pathi theriyumo? Plastic cardsnu kelu 555 illaina diamond nu rendu brand
irukkum ethavathu oru brand pathu packet vangindu vaa. Ovvoru kattilum 56 card
irukkanu check panni vangindu vaa” Sari mama. One more problem solved.
Around one maami from bride’s side came to groom’s residence and started giving
malligai poo. Yendimma naalu pandhu poruma illai innum venuma konjam kettu
sollen. Naalu panthu porum maami. Then the cook entered. Tiffin sappida ange
varela illai ingeye eduthundu vandhudattuma? Enna tiffin voy? Rava Kesari,
Urulai kizhangu bonda, mixture coffee mama. Ok ingeye kondu vanthudarela onnum
kashtamillaiyae. Illai maama ingeye kondu vanthudarom. Yey pondukala tiffin
ready seekiram dress pannindu tiffin sappida vango ellarum. Tiffin ingeye
vanthudum. Ramamoorthy engada ponan. Itho irukken chithappa. Vaa vanthu tiffin
saappittu un thambiya kelappu. Innum thoongindirukkan paar.
Meanwhile, some of the young ladies both married and un married started
beautifying the bride. A short discussion ensued to decide which saree the girl
should wear and finalised. Radha was simply sitting there smiling to the jokes
the ladies are cutting in the room. Some vegetarian and some non
vegetarian.
Bullock carts were ready with oldies and ladies. Yenda Nayanakarallam
vanthacha? Yaar poyirukka kooppida? Mama ava nere kovilukku vanthudarennu
sollitta naama purappaduvom. The kurukkal’s son came with the news the
mappillai azhaippu car and nayanakarar have arrived at the temple. All of us
excepting the groom, his parents and oldies started walking towards the temple.
Some of us were despatched earlier to take care of the arrangements. With the
help of the kurukkal the arrangements at the temple were made. Petromax lights
people came and reported for duty. As darkness fell they were lighting their
lights. Pookkarar was doing alankaram to the maappillai azhaippu vehicle. As
desired by the bride Anna patchi alangaram was done and believe me it was very
beautiful. The proceedings started in the temple. New set of dress was given to
the groom. He received it handed over to the Mappillai thozhan and they were
taken to the backside of the sannadhi for changing the dress. Two people were
posted to stop the ladies from going round in the praharam. The groom got
dressed and came. He was garlanded by the onnuvitta machinan and a chendu was
given. A chain was also given to the groom. Then he was taken to the sannadhi
for performing the archanai and was taken round the temple came out some one
did Narayanasami act (Holding the shoes) which the groom put on and climbed
into the car. Then the calamity started. All the kids started climbing up. For
those who cannot climb their parents helped. The groom could not say anything
as he did not know who is important and who is not. With the petromax light
near him hissing and the heat emanating from it made him perspire more. The
Jikina in the rose garland worsened the situation more. He started showing it
in his face. Immediately his paternal aunt came and told him “ nanna irukkuda
nee maappillai siricha mugama iruda” “Periyamma intha verva thaangalai. Pasanga
koottam vera athigama irukku light vera sudarathu. Rumba kashtama irukku
periyamma please enna kaappaathen”. Dei ithellam oru kashtamaada ithukke
aluthundena mathathai ellam eppadi samalikka pore. Konja naazhithan poruthukko.
Siricha mugama iru”. The procession started. With the nayanakarar and the
melakaarar at their best, young girls in pattu pavadai, the petromax light
hissing and spreading the white light, crackers and other vaanams lighting the
sky i was looking for my crush who is simply dancing here and there in a
fantastic pattu pavadai, sattai and thavani. A heaven in earth.
The procession moved on and
reached aghraharam. The car was stopped at the entrance of the street. One old
man approached the nayanakarar and asked “Yendappa unakku ‘marukelara’ paadam
aayirukko” “ aayirukku saami” “appo athai konjam vasikkaraya? Nee vaasikkarathu
rumba nanna irukkarathaala Ketten”. This is what the nayanakarar wanted more
than the money. The fact that there is some one who knows something about music
and he enjoys it cheered him and he started enthusiastically. For another half
an hour it was literally raining music to the discomfiture of the groom. At
last the procession moved and reached the groom’s residence. The groom alighted
and as usual after performance of aarthi went inside. Some one from the groom’s
side invited the bride’s side for nischayathaartham. Elders from both sides
along with the parents were seated opposite to each other. After the vadhyar
intoned the manthraas the plate was exchanged. Forgot to tell you that the
photographer started taking pictures (black and white) from the temple itself.
He was instructed to use around five or six rolls which will come to around 60
to 72 photos. Then the bride was called in and asked to perform namaskaram to the
sabai. Then she was offered a saree by the groom’s side. Again she prostrated
and took the saree went inside along with the groom’s sister. After draping the
saree she came back performed prostration again. A diamond necklace was tied by
the nathanar. Then aarathi was performed and the ceremony was over. This is the
first time the groom had an eyeful of dharshan of Radha since the day he saw
her first. Radha can only steal some glances but to her that is more than
enough. She left for her house in the company of young ones. Once again all of
them were requested to take their dinner at the arranged place and as usual
some people went some stayed back. Some one asked for idlis (chappathi was not
that much famous those days as most people don’t know whether they have
diabetes or not) some asked for milk for themselves and some for babies.
Everything was complied to their satisfaction.
Then we boys were asked to arrange a place for playing of cards. We went in
search for such a place. We were secretly instructed by the groom’s father to
look for a place away from their residence as their noise will disturb those
who want to sleep. The instructions were carried out to the letter. Bedsheets
with four or five pillows were taken to that thinnai where the game is going to
start. Bed sheets were spread. Lighting arranged. Four jugs of water with
tumblers, Kumbakonam vethilai, varuval seeval, yelakkai, krambu, Sunnambu,
pugaiyilai everything was arranged. The ukranam ( a man appointed for the
specific purpose of taking care of groceries and other duties. His duties
include 1. Supplying the grocery needed for the cook 2. Keeping tab of tings
especially tumblers left after drinking coffee/ water 3. Arranging vaidheeka
saamans depending on the proceedings. For instance if kasi yathrai is going to
start he will bring a book, umbrella prayana mudi etc before the start of the
ceremony. Like wise he will arrange for the colored balls for the oonjal) came
and informed the card gamers if any one of them wanted scented tobacco (Rajaji
Panneer Pugaiyilai and Amme Batcha panneer pugaiyilai were so famous in those
areas then) is available with him and they can get it from him. As the panneer
tobacco is little bit costly it will not be given freely and those who used to
chewing tobacco at times may not want it. ( i loved Rajaji panneer pugayilai
and was addicted to it for years).
Some of us started watching the people playing cards. A little bit later the
groom came and enquired is everything ok and was replied in affirmative. He
also started watching. Then his father came “ kalambara seekkiram
ezhunthurukkanum poi paduthukko thookkam varatho illaiyo konja neram udamba
pottu perattu”. So the groom left. We were also advised like that. We simply
went to another thinnai and lied down. It never occurred to us to ask for a
bedsheet or pillow. Forced by tiredness we slept like logs till such time one
from the bride’s house came to wake us up.
We woke up and went home to
brush and to take bath. Found the bathing area full of ladies and went to
another house in the agraharam and sought permission to use their well for
bathing. “Asadu ithukku ethukkuda permission naanga ellarum kulichuttom
neengallam kulingo.” Saw the tooth powder in our hand. “ yenda innum pallu
theikkaliya? Appo coffee saappittirukka mattel. Naan coffee podaren. Neenga
pallu thechuttu vango. Coffee kudichuttu kulikkalam”. We simply said ok and
bathed and dressing and combing everything was completed there itself. Returned
back home. Vangoda seekkiram tiffin saappidungo. Neraya velai irukku. Some one
from bride’s home called. We completed the tiffin and went to the bride’s home.
Just then the preparations for kaasi yathrai was underway. Vadhyar from bride’s
side and groom’s side was telling everybody it is time for kasi yathra so every
one should assemble in the pandal. Nayana goshti was also ready. Kasi yathrai
started with the groom in panchakacham holding a bag, a fan and a book of
Vishnu Sahasranamam took few steps (actually he was coming towards the pandal)
where the bride’s father met him and repeated the words uttered by the vadhyar
requesting the groom to return back and he will give his daughter’s hand in
marriage. (Considering Radha’s beauty i don’t think the groom would have even
dreamt of going anywhere leave alone kasi). Then Radha was brought out by her
friends and close relatives. She was all in glory. The inner happiness of
getting married reflecting in her face. The malai maatral went on with the
accompaniment of “Maalai maatrinaal. Kodhai maalai mattrinaal” in Nayanam with
usual pomp and galatta.
On completion of the malai maatral the couple were asked to come and sit in the
oonjal. To the relief of the groom only two children was permitted to sit by
their side. Both the bride and groom was given paal pazham. I was asked to
stand behind the couple with two towels in hand. After the couple took the paal
pazham it became my duty to offer the towel for them to wipe their hands. Felt
like a hero because of my proximity to the couple. One patti ordered “Yendiyama
ivvalavu pommnattikal irukkel yarukkum pada theriyatha. Padungolendi”. So the
usual “Kannoonjal aadi irunthal kaanchana mala” started with three or four
girls joining a little bit later. Then came pachapudi. All the sumangalies
older to the couple were throwing the coloured balls. “ Uma unakku pidikkaatha
aachu (Raju) ange nikkaram paar. Avanai kuri paathu adichudu” Jokes cut. With
the bride’s mother and groom’s mother taking the light in a vessel and slightly
pouring water came round the couple the oonjal was over. But Rahukalam came so
the couple have to wait for some more time in oonjal. With all those people
around both of them did not know what to do except looking at each other and
smiling. Think both were shy to talk to each other. Then an old man was seen asking
the Nayanakarar “ Yenda Kaliyamoorthy ethavathu vasiyenda. Appothanda unnoda
vidhwath vanthirukkaravaalukku theriyum ethanai naalukku than ulloorileye
vasichudu iruppe? Naalu ooru poi vasichu sampathikka vendama”. “Venam saami
namma oorla vasikkarathe nalla irukku. Nalla varumaanam varuthu. Nalla
mariyaathaiyum irukku. Aana periyavanga neenga solreenga Vasikkaren”. Then
started his cutchery. A group of people sat around him and started enjoying the
music. People were asked to go for their tiffin. ( Ashoka alwa, Pongal,
Chidambaram Kothsu, medhu vadai, idly, Thenkai chutney, coffee). Then the
marriage manthrams started. Sastrigal started manthrams for changing the
gothrams. Naana nee pravaram solrayada sari mama. Time for mangalya tharanam
came. All of us were asked not to shake the hands with the couple until such
time panigrahanam was completed. Though we don’t know when panigrahanam will be
completed we simply accepted what we were asked to do.
Radha was given the koorai pudavai. Accompanied by the sister of the groom she
went into a room to change to madisar from the normal dress she was accustomed
to till then. All of us were waiting for her. Then she came. Meanwhile pushpam
ashathai were distributed to the sabhai and the thirumangalyam was taken round
to seek the blessings of elders.
Arakku colour pattu pudavai. Madisar katti vida therinjava yaro katti
vitturukka. Nethila chutti. Kathula lolaakku. Mookkula bullaakku. Kazhuthula
Rojappo Malai, Neraya nanna pinnina thala mayiru iduppu vaaraikkum thongarathu.
Surya prabai Chandra prabaiyoda nethila azhaga kungumam ittundu lesana
sirippoda (oru chinna tension theriyarathu antha sirippula) annam pola ava
thavazhnthu vantha azhagu irukke it is still fresh in my mind. ( enakku ippo
nenaicha ore oru kurai theriyarathu. Azhaga aandal kondai pottundu muzhangal
varaikkum maalai pottinduruntha innum thookkala irunthirukkum).Came and did
prostrations to sabha. Her father is sitting on a chair. She was asked to sit
in his lap. After completing the formalities of ulakkai thalaila vachu
manthiram solrathu and all the thirumangalyam was handed over to the groom. He
has been instructed to tie once and the other two will be done by his sister.
“Getti Melam, Getti Melam” shouts every where. Radha has become the wife of
that boy who came from Madras some days back. There were tears in the eyes of
the bride’s parents though they were seen smiling. “ asadu asadu azhathedi
nanna kalyanam panni irukke appuram ethukku azhare. Santhoshama irudi. Kanna
thodachukko” some one was consoling the mother. Panagam was distributed to the
sabai. The sweetness of the tongue spreading all over the hall with every one
of them blessing “Dheerga sumangali bhava. Sarva mangalaani bhavanthu”
I have forgotten to tell
you about one thing the sastrigal said
during the muhurtham. “ Ellarum utkarntha idathulernthe akshathaiya veesi
eriyatheengo. Innum homam, pori idarathunnu neraya irukku. Thambathigal ingeye
utkarnthundu iruppa. Aakaiyinaalae konjam sramam paakkaama pakkathile vanthu
thambathikalukku akshathai pottu manasaara aseervatham pannungo. Ithan moolam
akshathai tharaila ella idathulayum kedakkarathum illama pogum”. The people
except a few did as they were told. After distribution of panakam and visiri
(printed with the name of the new couple) all of them were asked to assemble
for lunch. The boys were directed to take care of the lunch and the people who
came for the marriage. We went there. A person little bit older than us took
charge of directing us what to do. Some of us took water jugs and tumblers.
Some took sambar bucket. Some took payasam bucket. Some pachadi. Some the
cooked vegetables. Aviyal, Kosumalli, Urulaikizhangu kari, Rojappo Kulkanthu,
Sweet manga pachadi every bucket was taken by some of us. We were asked to
stand in a queue depending on which should be served first and where. One mama
accompanied the boy serving and directed him where the item should be placed.
Next Next the serving continued. The chief cook was supervising looking at the
rush and availability of sadham and other things. After two or three pandhis he directed his cooks to
prepare thideer rasam as he felt there will be shortage. The rasam pandhi was
going on. Sweet sambudam was taken by four persons one person for each row
followed by payasam. After serving payasam appalam was served for a second
time. (in those days payasam will be eaten by the people after pressing
appalams in it.) Then pickles were
served followed with rice and curd. There was a plate with Kumbakonam Kozhundhu
Vethalai, seeval, kalippaakku, thekkam pakku and kotta pakku along with a pakku
vetti, sunnambu and pugaiyilai. As usual
the ugranam mama was standing near that thaamboola plate to serve
panneer pugaiyilai. Some one was sent to bring the seettaata goshti to the
dining hall. When we went there to call them, the wives of some of them were
already there telling them “ yenna kalyanathukku vanthela illai seettattathukku
vanthela. Enna ezhavu seetto? Our kalyanam illai kaatchi illai eppa paathalum
seettu enga vanthaalum seettu. Ekkedo kettu ozhinchu pongo. Kalyanam mudinchu
pochu. Ellarum saappittum aachu. Neenga enna panna porel. Saappittittu oorukku
kelambara ennam irukka illai ingeye seettu aadindirukka porela? “Kathathaadi
iru varen sappittu oorukku kelambalam”. “ Appo swamigale naan kelambaren
appurama parppom. Enna oru korai enakku kadaisi aattathumpothu innum rendu
joker vanthirukkalam. Elaarukkum poittu varen”. Seettatta sabai kalainthathu.
Meanwhile grahapravesam was
done in our house. The newly married couple along with some maamis and maamas
came to our house (supposed to be the groom’s residence) Aarathi was taken by
my mom and one more maami from groom’s side.
Radha akka nakkala sirikkara madhiri i felt. Yenda ungathukku varathukku
enakku aarathiyannu. I too smiled back. After taking milk and fruit and
prostrations before the swami photo both
of them returned to the bride’s house. Then maappillai was asked to go home and
change to a convenient dress and come back for lunch.
A special place was
reserved for the new couple. Kolam was put and two vaazhai ilai pottu theertham
thelithu ilai readya vachuruntha. The couple along with their parents and some
relatives who were waiting for the couple and their parents also joined. Usual
kindal and keli started. Maappillai was asked to feed Radha and vice versa. The
high light was Radha vekkapattunde thalaiya kunichu oottinathil jaangiri
maappillai mookkil nuzhaiya mudiayaamal thavikka avar vaaya thiranthu
jaangiriyai kavvindathuthaan. With every one cutting jokes and bride’s father
thinking about further work the lunch was over. One of the best thing i
observed in the marriage was the groom’s father called the master cook and told
them “ Sappadu, tiffin ellam nanna irunthuthu. Parcharaka ellarum nanna
gavanicha. Romba thanks”. The master cook was almost in tears “ anna ithupola
yaarum ithuvarai enga kitta sonna thillai. Naan manapoorvama aseervatham panren
kozhanthel nanna iruppa”.
Yarda thenga pai kodukka
pora? Ammadi neeyum pathu thenka pai eduthundu poi pommanattikalukkellam kudu.
Irungo mami bakshanam tharen vaangindu pongo. Raaji nalanju bakshana pai
kondaadi. Veedu ore kalebarama irukku. Yenda maappillai aathukku thenga pai
rendu moottaiyum bakshana pai konjamum kondu poi koduthelo? Aachu mama. Avalai poi pai poruma illai innum konjam
venumannu kettundu vaa. Appadiye
vethalai, seeval kunguma santhanam ellam kondu poi kodu. Instructions followed
to the letter. Some of the people started saying good bye. Vechiles ( enna
ellam maattu vandi than) arranged. The person who works in the bus company was
stationed in the bus stop till all of them whoever were going on that day
went. There was a lull in the house.
Some us went and slept. We were asked to come back by 9.00 pm and the packing may
be done after night dinner.
Around 5.00 pm the ladies
assembled for Nalangu at the groom’s residence. Kids were permitted and the
gents were talking about what further to be done. With his sister as his mate
the groom started Nalangu. Usual pranks like showing the mirror on reverse,
asking the bride to put the flower in the groom’s head (thalaila poo vachu
vidarathu), appalam udaikkarathukku thinnuda koodathu ponne all these were
going on. As in other cases, Radha did things beautifully like maappillai
kaalukku manjal poosarathu, nalangu idarathu, thalai vari vidarathu, pottu
vachu vidarathu all these things were done beautifully by her and the groom did
it as how a man does things which were supposed to be beautiful. After
completion of formalities like appalam udaikkarathu Radha was asked to sing and
she sang the song “Bandureethi kolo” with her sweet voice which made some of
the mamis and mamas very happy. Besh Besh Ramamoorthy un matt upon nanna
padeara inime navarathrimbothu en ambadaiya kuralai kettuttu azhugai varadhu.
The thanjavur kusumbu was at its peak. One of the wonderful thing is the groom
has also joined Radha midway making her stop singing and wondering whether to
continue or not. Can see her blushing and smiling. Her inner happiness was on
show on her face which is already radiating. With both of them singing and
completing it the nalangu came to an end.
Meanwhile, the logistics
were discussed with the groom’s father. He asked us to pack the things like
seer pathiram etc in a card board boxes and can be shipped to Madras through
Southern Roadways ( a TVS company a reputed goods transporter those days). A person
was despatched to the local branch of Southern Roadways to check up how the
boxes were to be packed and what are the formalities to be completed. We were
asked to pack the things tight in card board boxes with both sender’s and
receiver’s name prominently printed on a paper to be pasted on all the sides of
the boxes. They have to be numbered serially and the luggage form should be
completed and should be delivered to the parcel office along with a marriage
invitation so that the tax authorities can be convinced that the vessels in the
boxes are not for sale.
The vadhyar came around
7.30 pm and the santhi muhurtham mandhrams were on. Two silver plates were
placed . On completion of sastra formalities both of them were given milk rice
(Paal sadham) then ushered into a room which was supposedly decorated for this
purpose. ( The decoration involves neat beds, oothuvathi, one small scent
bottle, with an oiled fan and some flowers sprinkled over the bed and with a
night lamp. Thats all). Once they went inside all the boys were asked to
assemble at both the bride and groom’s residence packing started. Some one
directed which vessel should be put to which box? Some one took the work of
striping the box with metal wire, some one took the work of fixing the nails,
some one selected good boxes, some one repaired the broken boxes, unusable ones
were discarded and taken to kottai aduppu. Some of us were deputed to bride’s
house where we started packing Radha’s dresses. Silk sarees in one tin box with
papers spread below the sarees. Daily use sarees in another box, cosmetics,
powder bangles etc in another box. It was around 4.00 am when everything was completed. As
usual we went to a thinnai and slept.
In the morning woke to the
sound of Nayanam. The couple were ready to go to the river for distributing
Paalikai. (Paalikai karaikka) We went home had our coffee took bath had our
tiffin and presented ourselves at Radha’s home. A small group accompanied the
procession to river. With all the people enroute blessing and looking at them
the newly married couple went to river
and finished their job and returned back. Breakfast happened to be Sadham,
Vatha kozhambu, Milagu rasam, Poricha appalam, Paruppu Payasam, konjama
puliyotharai and curd. After feasting for three days this meals seemed
wonderful and tasty. One person from
Groom’s side was entrusted with kattu sadha koodai. A big poosani kai, konjam
vazhakkai, matha karikai konjam konjam, Puloiyodharai, Thayirsadham, Mavadu,
Konjam molaga podi thadavina idly, konjam ghee, ordinary idly konjam, four
flasks full of milk, two thookku full of hot water every thing was loaded in
bullock cart. The boxes belonging to both the group were also loaded. The
maternal uncle and his wife were asked to accompany Radha to Madras as they were
also from Madras.
Farewell began. Most of the
ladies were seen crying. The mappillai stood there with a confused look whether
to smile, whether to console his wife or to keep mum. His mother assured Raedha’s
mother that Radha will be like a maharani at her house and her parents need not
worry. Radha’s father was seen talking to Groom’s father telling him how Radha
was dear to our heart and so on. The sambandhi mama was telling him not to
worry and also told him “Kalyanam nanna panninel. Engalukku rumba santhosham
oru chinna koraiyum illa. Neenga eppa vena Madras vango unga ponna parka engalukku
letter podanumnu kooda thevai illai”. This words soothed the parents of Radha.
The carts started. We boys were asked to accompany the carts and to load things
in bus and train. As i was considered a small boy i am supposed to go to bus
stop only. With crying eyes Radha took leave of every one. Asked my parents to
visit her and send me to Madras for annual leave. The person of transport
company brought the bus to the bus stop.
We were all there. The bus
came. Things were loaded. All of them boarded the bus. A window seat was
allotted for Radha. I stood there watching her.The bus started moving. She was looking at me with tears in her eyes and waving her
hand. I waved back with misty eyes. In those days the boys are not supposed to
cry openly.
