My tryst with hotels started since i was 4 when some one of my relatives brought kara chev and i was delighted to eat it. But i was warned not to eat hotel food as they were not good for health. So the relationship with hotels those days were on the salary days of my father who will buy Halwa and Karachev from hotel on that day. It was considered a sin and a " Bandha" to eat at a hotel. People especially the patties in the agraharam " avanuku romba pana kozhuppudi athunaala thaan adikkadi clubukku poi sappidaran. ( here the club means the hotel) My first visit to a hotel was when one akka who married outside the caste took me to one. Slowly i grew up and because of my father's work moved to different towns/villages. In one such aghraharam, when i was doing my 11th, there was a group who will play cards all through the day. In the morning itself say around 10.30 they will have their lunch and then in the thinnai of one of the group member's house the card game will start. I will be hanging around that place. Around 2.30 pm i will be asked to go to a hotel and get 9 or 10 parcels of dosai, poori or something depending on their mood and ten coffee and get me something for me also. I will take a big Gooja and a wire bag go to a hotel and order. Because of the big order i will be given a hand full of mixture or karachev and a cup of coffee free. This will happen on most of the holidays. My next tryst with hotels came when my mother's uncle visits our home. He is one person who can overrule my parents and take us out. In the hotel we will be served with a halwa (venkatara lodge at Kumbakonam was very famous for its idlys and sweets) with karachev/mixture. Even if you order sweet alone you will be given that savoury and it was never sweet and coffee. It will be always sweet karam and cofee. Then i got a temporary job in Orathanad and eating at Hotels started in Chitra Cafe.(which was located opposite to then panchayat union office). Full meals of Boiled rice will cost you 40 paise and with Raw rice it will be 60 paise. These hotels were perfect example of the industry being called hospitality industry. Our normal intake will be 4 idlys and 2 dosais as break fast. Even if we consume one less we will be immediately asked by the owner (who will double as server) " are you not well" If we say we are short of cash then he will immediately retort by giving one more idly free i wont be made to beg by god. You need not pay today. Eat well. Valarra Kozhandhel. Saappattula vanjana pannaatheengo". Then got the permanent job at Sirkali. Came Ranga Vilas and Rathna Cafe. I can never forget these hotels. If i miss some days in Ranga Vilas on the day i visit the owner will immediately say " Varaadhavaaallam vanthirukkada. Seekkiram gavani. Pudhusa decoction podu". Then the owner of Rathna Cafe Sri Shanmugam Chettiar who purchased Hindi records for us to hear when we were eating. and the servers Sri Manickam Chettiar (Maavanna) Shankar, Balu and a host of others. Even when the hotel is closed for the day Maavanna never returned us hungry. Will prepare something and the servers whenever there is Kadappah it will be kept in a seperate bucket exclusively for us. The best thing is the owner and the servers know each and every one of us by name.‪#‎rkpolambal‬#

OHM SHRI GURgUBHYO NAMAHA

GNANANANDA GNANANANDA SADGURU GNANANANDA

B.Com Seat

He was one of the oldest devotees. As per the instructions of Gurunathar used to indulge in Nama Sankeerthanam and at times alternate as a driver to Gurunathar. One of his sons was in collage. The son wanted to study B.Com course in a Chennai City Collage. In view of his poor marks he was admitted in B.A. Economics which he did not like. So he used to go to B. Com class at attend the same for entire day. His repeated attempts to convince the Principal for a change in course to B.Com was flatly refused by the Principal. This was going on for a month. One day the professor in the class announced “ there are people who does not belong to this class attending it and from tomorrow morning i am going to take attendance and those who does not belong to this class will be sent out.” The boy did not know what to do. Crestfallen he returned home. The devotee, on seeing his son’s face asked him what was the problem. The son explained the same. The devotee told his son let us pray to Gurunathar and i will accompany you to collage tomorrow and let both of us plead with the principal. So, next day both father and son went to the collage. The Correspondent and the Principal were seated in the Correspondent’s room. Both of them went there and pleaded their case to the Principal. The Principal replied “ I have told you umpteen number of times  that you don’t have sufficient marks to join in B.Com class and so i have allotted you a B.A.Seat.  If you are willing you can continue in B.A or else you can leave the collage”. Convinced that they can do nothing more both father and son started returning dejected. They would not have crossed a few steps from the Correspondent’s room, a car came and stopped beside them. A person climbed down from the car and immediately was shouting “ Hello, Mama how are you what brought you here?”. The person who alighted from the car was a relative of the devotee and was enquiring him. The devotee told the relative the purpose of his visit and the result. The relative asked them just to follow him to the Correspondent’s room. When the relative entered the Correspondent’s room he was welcomed by both the principal and the correspondent in a very respectable manner. The relative then told the correspondent “ this boy is my relative and i understand that he was refused a B.Com seat.” He uttered no more words. Immediately the Correspondent replied “ i don’t know that this boy was your relative and he has not told me also about that. Dont worry sir Now itself i will give him a B.Com seat.” He took a white paper and wrote in it in his own writing that this boy should be admitted in B.Com immediately and the boy was requested to pay the applicable fees tomorrow.

It subsequently transpired, that the relative is a high official in Regional Transport Office and the Correspondent is a owner of a fleet of omni buses and he has to approach the relative for permit and other things. Gurunathar has sent him at the appropriate time to get an admission for his devotee.

SADGUURNATH MAHARAJ KI JAI

MAGIZHVITHU MAGIZH

At the request of some of the members of the group i am going to write a short one. As usual again this came about because of a post by Swathi Krishnakumar.I was working in a semi urban area. We never heard of star hotels leave alone five star and others (in fact i was 47 when i first saw and entered into a five star hotel to attend a party hosted by some one. Though i was not invited i simply tagged along with an invitee. It was in the year 2000).So our hotel experience is limited to special rava or nei rava with Kaliyakudi hotel special alwa. One of my friends got married to a girl from the then Culcutta. Though the girl's side were settled there the marriage was conducted in Mayiladuturai itself which place the bridegroom belongs. Marriage went on well. The concept of honey moon was not that much established then in the middle class tambrahm families. So after few days of marriage the bride and the groom visited Culcutta. His father in law was from high income group. So he sent his daughter and son in law to a five star hotel for a romantic evening dinner. Both of them went there. The bearer gave the menu card to the boy. ( in the words of my friend " i felt it below my dignity to ask my wife to go through the menu" (egoistic male chauvinistic pig ?)) My friend went through the menu. But could not understand anything. So he gently asked his wife what she wants to order. That treacherous girl smilingly said whatever you order for you order for two persons. At last my friend ordered something which is suitable to his purse. Polished silverware put on the table and water is served in silver tumblers. Two artistic ceramic plates were placed. Fork and knives were neatly laid along with a piece of cloth. After half an hour the dish was served in a closed plate. Enthusiastically the boy lifted the cover. There lies some pieces of boiled cabbage leaves sprinkled with pepper.‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Most of my posts were spurred from the post of some one. The other day it was Aparna Kumar and Manasa Chakrapani Iyengar. Today it wasSivaranjani Kumar.It is not entirely true if i say this is in response to her post but this post is the result of some of the comments for that post. Some were passive some were hard hitting comments but were interesting to read. Not judging any body including Sivaranjani Kumar and others just going back like a time machine. My great grand mother never talked to her son in law directly. All the communications will be only through her daughter i.e. my grand ma. She used to call her husband 'Aandavane' and great grand pa used to call her as mangalam amma (Mangalam being my grand ma's name).My grand ma used to talk to my father but she will be standing behind the doors in the kitchen and my father will be sitting on a bench in the hall. I never saw her address my grand pa. If we are there we will be asked to call thatha in where she will tell him or if we are not available she will go and stand or sit before him wherever he was. My grand dad used call her adiye. My mother will stand before her son in law but the communication will be through my sister. My mother will say whatever she wants to say but her looks will be on my sister and my brother in law used to reply on the same way, My father used to call my mother amma and my mother used to call my father " Yennaa". In my case it was little bit different. Both my name and my wife's name is same (I am Santhanakrishnan and she is Santhanalakshmi) So whenever my mother in law calls Santhanam we used to get confused whom she is calling and both will answer. My sons' mother in laws call them with their name. In the entire 5 generations none absolutely none asked for freedom and not even there is any mention. Each one has decided this is my work and did it to perfection. I still remember my grand ma crying when my grand dad died " Ennai rajathi madhiri vachurundhele" nnu. Whatever space was available to them they enjoyed it to the hilt. ( of course none of them my great grand ma, grand ma, my mother lived under a mother in law. My wife is the first one to have a mother in law in the form of my mother) As i was working in a different town an my father in a different one we lived separately reducing the meeting time and resultant mil dil fights. As far as my daughters in law are concerned i have already written about them. So i feel the freedom for the women is already there and they enjoyed it and wantonly and willingly surrendered some rights for the sake of their children and their love for their husbands. All feminists are welcome for male bashing. ‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Again in response to the post of Rukmini Swathi Rishabhapriya about some rich people not wearing poonool and and following anushtanams etc and her patti asking her to have her hair tightened and wear saree for koil and functions. Nowadays, i find answering by means of a post instead of commenting on it is easier because a post can run into any number of pages and i can add one more in my number of posts. Jokes apart let me deal with the rich first. Yes they are rich and dont follow anushtanams. I will tell you a story of a family which is rich and did not follow anushtanams. I am not cursing anybody or telling anyone this is going to happen to you if you dont follow anushtnams. The family was what you can call a filthy rich. have flashy cars with servants even to lay their bed. They had two children and both of them were special children. Nowadays special schools are available for them and there are doctors offering counselling both to the parents and to the children. Think of those days when these facilities are not available. We can talk how they should handle the kids and how much they must love them. But in practical life the agony of the parents cannot be explained. I am not telling the children were like this because of their not following anushtanams but this is what i have seen. you can draw your own conclusions. One thing is for sure. Bank Balances, Flashy Cars and Palatial Bungalows does not constitute richness and surely it wont bring happiness. It may get you pleasures but not pleasantness.
Regarding the tying of hair: I think there are scientific reasons. Have ever been a piece of hair went into your mouth along with your breakfast, lunch or dinner. That too the long hair of girls. I had experienced it and it took me half kg of butter, an injection and three days to cure the after effects of pulling out the hair from the throat. That is why people use to do their hair (pinnuthal) in the backyard of the house so that the hair does not fall within the house and travels to kitchen. Try to pick up a hair piece from the floor and you will know why your paatti says so. It will be very difficult in the day time itself. Regarding saree it enhances the beauty along with kunkumam. In those days most of the marriage alliances were started on seeing the girl first in the temples and marriages. We people are old fashioned and that is why we are simply repeating what we did as we are living a lovely life till date. We are telling those things to you in the hope you will also get such a wonderful life if you fallow what we fallowed.‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

Even before the eyes become dry about Swathi's death another girl lost her life. I consider both as murders one direct and another indirect. Two kids i respect most, Ms. Aparna Kumar and Ms. Manasa Chakrapani Iyengar have posted about the death of the girls. While one asked why a male should always safeguard a girl the other asked why the society blames a girl for her nude pictures. Both are very pertinent questions. These posts kindled my thinking and here i have started my rambling. First to Aparna Kumar. Knowingly or unknowingly we are in a patriarchal society. Though there is a system of matriarchal society in Kerala even there the safety of the girls rested with male only. You may want to change the system but it cannot be done overnight. Man is considered to have more physical strength than woman and this resulted in the system of male protecting the female. Though the girls nowadays are overcoming their physical difficulties to learn some defensive acts like Karate still long way to go. How many girls of today are ready to go in for karate classes. With continuing murders and rapes being reported all around the country nowadays i dont think any parent will disagree with their daughter if she wants to go in for such classes. First let us spread awareness among girls to be on their guard. I also read a comment why the girls should safeguard themselves and why not the boys not been controlled? a good question to ask. but practically will it work. We cannot segregate people that this man is a murderer, a rapist and this man is a gentleman by the looks. There are well looking criminals and ugliest gentlemen in our country. As long as the girls are being looked as an object of pleasure you cannot stop this. Enact as many laws as possible, you cannot prevent this. In our days there was a moral education class every week and we were taught how to be a gentle man. Dont know why those classes were stopped. Those days porn was available in the form of books only and most of us cannot afford to buy it because of its cost. ( we never heard of pocket money those days) And just singing love songs will attract the stick from the teacher/ parents. Though we detested those things then, now i understand the values behind it. I have not raped nor never will rape. I have been taught by my teachers/ parents how to respect a woman. Now with porn available through mobiles. No amount of government ban is going to stop those sites. Like torrent sites which comes with a different name each and every time it was banned the porn sites are going to do the same. Not only in India but also throughout the world looking at a woman as a pleasure object exists. The number of porn sites stands witness to it. So instead of expecting the government to stop such people, let us better equip ourselves and use all the available resources including trusted men to protect our girls. For Manasa Chakrapani Iyengar my answer is this. The society is yet to improve to that level. In this incident what pains me most is the news (I pray let it be false) that her own parents have not believed that it was not her picture. When people are going to believe their own wards who they bring up as per their wishes. If they are not able to trust their own child then it is their fault of not educating the child properly. So kids direct your anger to your brains and not to your hearts.‪#‎rskpolambals‬#

I saw a post in another group. It was about a girl who wants to pursue her career in dance whereas her parents compel her to get married. The girl is of the opinion if she got married she may not be able to continue her passion. There were comments for this post asking her to go against their parent's wishes, break free, you have to take care of yourself and some comments asking her to marry, to heed to her parents, career is not much important and so on. Some of the people advised her to check up with the boy whether he is acceptable for her continuing with her passion, to adjust her family life and continue with her passion. One of the advise which caught my attention is to understand each other and live the life happily. It occurred to me here comes the crux. How one can understand the other completely. Because the parents who raise their children from the day they were born feels that they are not able to understand their wards and say there is generation gap between themselves and their wards. It has to be noted that the children are brought up the way the parents want in their initial stages. If such being the case, how a girl/boy is going to understand each other in a short span of time. So i feel having a long chat with each other, know the strength and weakness of the partner and build the relationship upon it. The strength can be built up and they can improve on the weakness of each other with the help of the partner. The ego, chauvanisam, one upman (woman)ship should not be there in the picture at all. That is how i ran my family and taught my children also. Now that i am retired from the service, have retired myself from running the family also. This is what you can call a real retired life. I know how to earn and can go on working for three or four days continuously without sleep. ( now it takes its toll) while my wife is an expert in administering the family. So we recognised each other's strength and left things to be taken care of based on our strength. This not only prevents the family plunging into chaos but also helps loving each other. Yes I proudly acknowledge that my wife is the reason for the well being of my family. For today's boys and girls who are looking for a partner, this is my request. dont put conditions on each other. You are not entering into business partnership which is based on a document. Life is not based on a document it is purely based on your heart mostly and your brain occasionally. I am making this comment because one of my friend is looking for a bride for his son and told me this experience. In the ad given in the matrimonial site the girl has indicated that the boy must be ready to go separately (Thani kudithanam) leaving his parents and the girl will ensure that they will be taken care of well. My friend and his son accepted this condition (they felt a single bed room flat can be bought nearby their flat and the oldies can go there). So he phoned up. The girl's father picked up the phone. He told my friend " I must be taken care of by your son the way my daughter is taking care of us now". When informed about the condition his daughter indicated in her profile the phone was disconnected.